Original Song: A Christmas Toast — Living With My Mistakes

I wrote a corny-but-earnest Christmas ballad, because I’m a sentimental old fool. This year it was a Christmas ballad (because everything I’m cool with sharing is a ballad right now, seemingly), next year will be a Christmas bop, and the year after that I’m going for a Christmas Badass Bass Banger.

I may need help with the latter, but who knows by then?

If you’ve been reading my blog already, you’ll know by now that sometimes I put pieces of myself into my songs (not always, but sometimes) and this is one of those cases where I’m there in the notes. Which is probably why this song makes me cry sometimes. The lyrics tell the truth on a couple of my festive traditions, in that I do set a spare place at the table, and that I’ve made the same damn toast for years now.

Christmas is a time when we’re keenly aware of the empty chair. The spaces left by those no longer with us…seem so much more more tangible at a time when family and friends are brought to mind by every advert, or song on the radio. Those that we love may still be near, but somewhere else, doing the dance of festive finery with their in-laws, or keeping the peace with relatives.

I find myself in quiet moments on Christmas, feeling that sadness and countering it by counting my blessings. When I’m missing the ghosts of Christmasses past, I try to feel those feelings, and then turn that on its head by sending love and best wishes to my friends who live far away, or to old friends I’ve not yet met.

Those are the parts of me that’re in this song.

And I know. I know it’s not the best song ever. I know it’s resolutely not a bop. But it wrote parts of me into it, and then I went around with it in my head for a few days. Now it exists…and I’m still proud of the walk down after the bridge.

Here’s the (very imperfect) Imperfection Project video:

Happy holidays, everyone. Tell them you love them this Christmas, whomever they may be.

Love always,

Fay

xXx